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Tuesday, March 8, 2016

my draft 2

A Surprise Visit


WARNING AO or PG This can make you very sick and make your heart come out your mouth please continue only if you are over and under 20 enjoy. On day my family said let's go to our aunty house Then we packed some food up.  Let's go said my brother then we went to Auckland. Few hour later the car swerlled what the hell! I feel like going to vomit like hell. We stop at Whangarei we had KFC,MCDonald,Pizza,Drink   and Bakehouse.Then my mum decided to go to shopping in the Mall because it will be fun in there  then we went to shopping in the mall .When we arrived at the mall mum went to the
jewelry shop dad went to Hunting & Fishing and me and my
brother went to the warehouse to by some Nerf Gun we
had 400 dollars I had a Star War Nerf Gun and my brother had  the ornery Nerf Gun then we buyed all the stuff we need and we head off to auckland
Then we arrived at Auckland my brother saw the sky he said
I wish I could own the Sky Tower only if you study hard said
mum OK! said my my brother. Few minute later we have
approach to my aunty house then I said can I ring the
DOOR BELL! yes you can then DING DING! after that vomit at
aunty dress, green slimy juicy BUUUUUUUUUCK!  mum got so Embarrassed
NAUGHTY BOY! said aunty mum started to laugh RUN! we ran of
GET IN THE CAR! said dad then we drove off we got so paranoid that day And that day was a disgusting and horrible day of my life time it
was pretty funny but the good news is we escaped from
aunty but the bad news is the I am banded of nerf gun and
got whack in the bottom by aunty that was a terrifying day.

This is my second draft. I still need teacher's help to proof-read

Sorry it is up the wrong way.  I will post my writing again.